best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
