Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
