Well apparently he's into motor boating.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Randomize
