it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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