we have pet lesbian snakes
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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