I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
