I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
is it fun? or sober?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
