all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Randomize
