theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
