The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
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