Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
