You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
