I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
