I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
