I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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