Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
