It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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