Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
you win again, gameday.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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