I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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