Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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