I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
