She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
