our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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