She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
