I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
