I just pynch a tree in the face
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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