you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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