Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
