In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
