Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
