My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
