You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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