I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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