so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
false alarm, still single
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
