um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
