I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
