I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
