and you said cock pushups were impossible
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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