Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
