If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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