oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
