that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
