Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
me + whiskey = a bad person
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
