Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Sext me about skeletons
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