i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
