I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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