I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
