He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
