I cockslap morals
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
