To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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