operation harelip BJ is a go
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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